How can I convince and win over a woman on a first date?

The first date is an exciting step that brings with it both opportunity and nervousness. To help you make the perfect impression and pave the way for a potential relationship, here are some important tips and tricks on how to prepare yourself, organize the date and reflect on it at the end.

Before the date: the preparation

The location:

Where should the first date take place? It's often a good idea to plan the first date in a place where you can have a good conversation. Popular options are cafés or your favorite bar (shouldn't be too loud), while places like the cinema or one partner's home are rather unsuitable. Most women want you to take charge and plan the date and then surprise her. Let her know how she should dress (sporty, elegant, etc.) and when and where you're meeting. You'll earn extra points if you pick her up or order her an Uber.

The right clothing:

Give her an idea of the direction the date is taking so that she can choose the right clothes. Choose an outfit that suits your personal style and that you feel comfortable in. Cleanliness and a pleasant scent are also important. 

Nervousness:

It's completely normal to be nervous before a first date. Around two thirds of all singles feel this way, and according to a study, women are even slightly more nervous than men. Try not to have exaggerated expectations. A first date is often more of an opportunity to find out if the chemistry is right than a guarantee of love at first sight. Feelings often only develop on subsequent dates.

During the date: The implementation

The first impression:

Psychology tells us that first impressions can have an enormously far-reaching influence (halo reception). That's why a warm welcome is crucial. Instead of a formal handshake, a friendly hug is recommended,
to immediately create a pleasant atmosphere. A genuine smile is also important - women have a keen sense of authenticity.

Gentlemanly behavior:

Even though gentlemanly behavior seems to have gone out of fashion among the younger generations - and perhaps precisely because it is shown less and less - we greatly appreciate courteous, "chivalrous" behavior, which is a sign of masculinity. Small gestures of politeness such as holding the door or pulling back the chair are appreciated and show respect.

Humor and communication:

Humor is an attribute that women often name among the top 3 qualities they want in a man. We want our life partner to also be our best friend with whom we can joke around. So show your playful, humorous side and don't take yourself too seriously. But be careful: stay away from flat dad jokes and remain authentic and charming. Laughing together promotes attraction and connection.

Listen and ask questions:

Active listening and asking questions are essential. Show genuine interest in what she says and avoid talking only about yourself. Talk about details of your life, what inspires you and how important friends and family are to you. Openness and honesty are often very attractive. If you look deep into her eyes and smile charmingly at her, you will find out whether she is interested and returns your looks and smiles, or whether she tends to look away and hardly asks any questions herself.

Topics of conversation:

Start with small talk about shared interests, travel or your job. These topics can lead to more in-depth conversations about values and future plans. Be open to different opinions and stand by your own.

The bill:

The question of who picks up the bill is flexible these days. However, as already mentioned, most women are attracted to gentlemanly behavior, and that includes paying the bill. At least on the first few dates. After a few more dates, you could take turns paying, but some women find even that unacceptable.

No-Go's:

Avoid being late, constantly looking at your cell phone or discussing unpleasant topics such as your ex-partner (at least on the first few dates). Excessive alcohol consumption or too much physical contact are also taboos.

Farewell:

End the date when it's at its best. If you enjoyed the date and would like to see her again, communicate this openly. Whether you give a kiss or just a hug depends on the mood. A French kiss is rather inappropriate on a first date. Never invite her to your home after the first date if you want a serious relationship and not just a flirt.

After the date: the follow-up

What happens now?

Wait 3 days before you write to her? Complete nonsense. It only makes you more interesting to women who have low self-esteem. Most women know that this is a tactic to make themselves more interesting and see it as a red-flag. If you liked the date, write her a message within 24 hours. Signal your interest without going over the top.
Alternatively, you can call her the next day if you prefer.

Next date:

If you want another meeting, suggest it promptly. Avoid waiting too long to avoid disinterest.

Conclusion

The first date is a chance to impress with authenticity and attentiveness. Stick to small gestures of politeness, be humorous, listen attentively, look her in the eye and have an open conversation. Avoid unpunctuality, bad manners or inappropriate topics. If you sense a feeling of connection, show your interest and plan the next meeting.

With these tips, you'll be well equipped to make your first date a success and lay the foundations for a potential relationship.

Good luck!

P.S.: If you are unsure about your choice of outfit and would like advice from a woman, please make an appointment via Calendly.